


Bare

by Spoodlemonkey



Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: Barney's face is naked, Established Relationship, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Lee has a bit of a potty mouth, M/M, Pre Expendables 3, RIP Mustache, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-21 00:42:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10674138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spoodlemonkey/pseuds/Spoodlemonkey
Summary: Barney shaves off the mustache.





	Bare

**Author's Note:**

> Something to get me back into the fandom; plus I just keep picturing Lee's reaction to the sudden disappearance of the mustache.

Lee shuffles out to the kitchen, murmurs a sleepy  _ hello _ and takes the proffered cup of of coffee all before he fully opens his eyes. He takes a long swig of glorious caffeine-- something he’s developed an unfortunate addiction to since moving in with Barney-- and nearly chokes. 

Across the brim of the mug Barney stares back at him as he splutters. 

“You alright Christmas?” He tugs the mug from his hands with a frown. “Go down the wrong way?”

Any other time that would be an open invitation for a lewd joke. RIght now though, there’s something much more pressing before him.

“What the  _ fuck _ happened to your face?” Lee demands once his airway is clear again. 

Barney, the fucker, manages to appear sheepish as he rubs one broad palm over his now smooth shaven face. Lee has  _ severe stubble burn _ between his thighs from the facial hair that was there not six hours ago when they finally got to bed. 

Now Barney's face is bare. Naked. Lee may have nightmares from this. 

Not that it’s bad...just that it’s... _ different. _

“Shaved it off this morning.”

“No  _ shit _ .” Lee makes grabby hands and Barney passes his coffee back over wisely. He’s going to need caffeine to adjust to this. 

“Thought it was time for a change.” Barney continues. He seats himself at their table, apparently content to let the conversation end there. Which,  _ hell no _ .

Lee takes the seat across from him, eyeing him. The smooth skin on display is bizarre. He can’t decide if this makes the man look older or younger. It’s an odd mix, with the new lines he couldn’t see before, and the pink skin that looks soft to the touch. 

Barney lets him stare for about two minutes before he caves.

“What?” He snaps.

“Isn’t it a bit late for a midlife crisis?” 

Barney gapes at him. 

“Shit Lee, this isn’t a midlife crisis.”

“Are you sure?” The lack of facial hair tells him otherwise. “Because you’ve had that thing for over a decade.”

He’s known Barney on and off for half his life, and aside from the odd vague impression of hairlessness, he honestly can’t recall Barney without some form of facial hair. 

“Needed a change.” Barney says again, shrugging his broad shoulders. Lee wonders briefly what else might need to change but doesn’t entertain the thought. They were solid, despite Barney’s odd bout of insanity. 

“So does that mean you don’t like it?” 

“I didn’t say that.” Lee finishes his coffee. He eyes the new bare skin. His fingers itch to touch. “But I think it’s going to take some getting used to.”

Barney catches the interest in his tone, glancing briefly at the clock. “We don’t have to meet Tool until later; we should probably let you get used to it now. For your sanity.”

Lee smirks. 

“What?” Barney asks, wary. 

“Nothing,” he pushes to his feet and urges Barney up and towards the couch. Their last set of kitchen chairs didn’t withstand their combined bulk the last time Lee crawled into Barney’s lap. They’ve learned their lesson. “Was just thinking about all the shit the others are going to give you.”

Barney drowns out Lee’s laughter as he tackles him. 


End file.
